Black Love Founders Codie Elaine Oliver & Tommy Oliver at the Black Love Summit 2023 (Courtesy of Kai Byrd Photography)

I have spent years helping couples navigate the intricate web of their relationships. There is one thing I’ve learned: the journey of love takes more than weekly counseling sessions to truly nurture and strengthen a partnership. I had the privilege of attending The Black Love Summit in Atlanta, GA, and it reminded me of the multifaceted nature of love and the profound importance of community in sustaining and elevating relationships. The Black Love Summit 2023 wasn’t just an event, it was an experience that brought couples, singles, and experts together to delve into the complexities of love, communication, and growth. It provided a safe and enriching space for singles and couples to learn and glean from the many speakers and experts who participated in various panels throughout the day.

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Black Love Summit is Elevating Black Voices

 

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The day began with an opening conversation that included Devale and Khadeen Ellis, emphasizing the need to prioritize our relationships as much as our individual growth. As a therapist, I often see couples who come to me seeking solutions to their problems. However, the Black Love Summit emphasized that relationships are not solely about addressing problems; they are about cultivating love, respect, and understanding. It was a reminder that love is an ongoing journey, not just a destination. In my role as a therapist, I regularly work with clients on communication skills. Observing couples openly express their thoughts and emotions in a non-judgmental space was a beautiful testament to the power of vulnerability. The Ellises have shared their journey in marriage and family quite openly for many years. To witness and hear them share about the ways in which they have grown together and individually over the years was a heartwarming experience. Black Love Founders Codie Elaine Oliver and Tommy Oliver moderated the conversation and showed us the evolution of the Ellis family through clips from earlier interviews. We enjoyed many laughs with them, but they also shared many nuggets of wisdom as they openly reflected on the current state of their marriage. They discussed the importance of being in sync with each other, which extended beyond intimacy, with Devale emphasizing that it didn’t mean just sex! 

The second session revolved around wellness and what it means to each of us individually. Shelah Marie, the host of Season 5 of “Couch Conversations,” was part of the conversation, moderated by Morning Mindset’s Tai Beauchamp. Shelah so eloquently described wellness as “not betraying ourselves.” I couldn’t help but to snap my fingers in agreement! As a therapist, I often stress the need for a holistic approach to wellness, but the Black Love Summit deepened my appreciation for how it shapes our connections. It made me realize the value of encouraging clients to explore and celebrate their individuality while navigating their wellness within the context of a community.

A recurring theme throughout the summit was the significance of community. The power of community support was evident in the stories shared by couples who had navigated life’s challenges together. As a therapist, I’ve often focused on individual and couples counseling sessions, but the Black Love Summit illuminated the importance of fostering a broader support network. The summit continued on for the rest of the day as it reinforced the importance of holistic care, encompassing emotional, mental, and financial well-being. One of the most significant takeaways from the Black Love Summit was that the journey of love extends far beyond the therapist’s office. While therapy is a crucial tool for addressing issues, sustaining love requires ongoing effort, commitment, and community support. As a therapist, my role isn’t just to fix problems but to help clients build the skills, understanding, and connections necessary for a resilient and thriving relationship.

My experience at the Black Love Summit was a profound reminder that love is a dynamic, ever-evolving journey. While I continue to provide weekly couples counseling for my clients, I also appreciate the importance of complementing this with community engagement, cultural awareness, and a holistic approach to relationships. It reinforced that as a therapist, my work is just one piece of the intricate puzzle that is love, and there’s so much to explore and celebrate together.