Jasmine Raheem (Credit: @jazshebad/Instagram)

Growing up in the church, I was never really introduced to therapy. Whenever life got tough and became too much for me to handle, I was taught that prayer was the only means to a resolution. I was told to have faith and that God would never put too much on me that I couldn’t handle. While I still believe all of those things, it wasn’t until I started therapy that I realized that stress relief, self-care, and mental health requires more than just prayer. I also learned that it is possible to take on too many responsibilities and that it is important to give yourself grace.

Related Articles:
Signs You Should Consider Therapy
This Ted Talk Speaker Wrote a Journal That Feels Like Therapy
Black Women Need Therapy, Too

The year 2016 was such an eye-opener for me. I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life, I was expecting my second child, I was in a toxic relationship, and my high school best friend became very ill and was on the verge of dying. I had been acting in ways that I didn’t even recognize who I was. The stress, guilt, and shame I carried with me became unbearable. My anger became unmanageable. As an almost mother of two, I realized that I was not the person I wanted to be for myself and my children. I did something I had never thought I would do, I reached out to a licensed therapist. This was such a game-changer for me. Oftentimes, especially in the Black community, therapy is frowned upon. I even had a family member laugh at me and refer to therapy as “White people stuff.” That was the furthest from the truth. My therapist was kind, listened to me, and dissected every word I told her. She gave me different perspectives as to why I operated the way I did and why the people around me operated the way they did. My therapist helped me to explore events of my childhood and relate them to the way I responded to things as an adult. She also introduced the thought of giving myself compassion, and she gave me alternative ways to cope with stress. I saw a difference in myself. I was happier, experienced less stress, and wasn’t so hard on myself. My mom, who has always been a church-going woman, saw a difference in me and continued to support me as I continued to go to therapy. I looked forward to it each week and would be disappointed every time a session ended. 

By the beginning of 2017, my best friend passed away after being hospitalized for several months. This hurt me so much, that in my vulnerability, I allowed those same toxic relationships to eat away at me. I felt like I had taken steps back in my progress. Once again, I was hard on myself. I had moved back in with my parents. I was juggling grief, postpartum, motherhood, and emotional strain. I was on the verge of depression, yet I continued to go to therapy.

Courtesy of pexels.com

Months after consistently going to therapy, my confidence was revived. I began to work out, pray and meditate more, and release myself from toxic relationships. My mental and spiritual health strengthened and I attribute that to therapy. The beauty of therapy is that it isn’t a means to an end. It isn’t something you master and graduate from. Truth is, life happens, and ups and downs are inevitable. Although I feel like I have grown mentally and emotionally, I also have weak moments sometimes. I overextend myself a lot and still struggle with juggling many tasks. I am often way too critical of myself, I overthink, and I still hold onto anger. I have hope knowing that therapy is always an option before things get out of hand like it has in the past. Mental health should be valued and as important as physical and medical health. I have also encouraged the importance of therapy to my children. Therapy has indeed changed my life, and I will continue to push its importance.