Jasmine Raheem and her husband (Courtesy of Jasmine Raheem)

When my husband and I reconnected in 2017, I was at a place where I wanted to strengthen both my body and mind. I became intentional about going to therapy and working out. I had just parted ways with my trainer and searched for the motivation to go to the gym. Often times I would feel intimated about going alone. I felt like all eyes would be on me and worried that strangers would interrupt my workout to offer “help.” Fortunately for me, around that time, my husband was years into his fitness journey and did not hesitate to assist with mine.

Working out with my husband bought about a level of intimacy that I hadn’t experienced with anyone else. My husband is very playful but also takes his time at the gym seriously. He always had a way of making me laugh and flirting with me all while holding me accountable when completing my sets. Seeing each other in that element heightened our attraction for one another. 

Here are some benefits of strengthening intimacy in your relationship:

• Exploring intimacy beyond sex promotes vulnerability. Once you realize that intimacy is way deeper than just sex, it gives you and your partner the space to open up to one another.
• Strengthening intimacy helps you and your partner create long lasting memories. You will find how much fun you and your partner can have together.
• Small tasks that you may not feel like doing will become enjoyable. Working out used to be dreadful for me until my husband and I started exercising together. Building our intimacy actually made working out fun.
• Your partner will become your best friend. Sometimes the everyday tasks and responsibilities can drain you. Having strong intimacy will create a safe space amongst you and your partner. After a hard day, you’ll want to be nowhere else but beside them.   

Working out together gave us an extra reason to touch, get close, and push each other to different levels of strength. We often used our gym time as a means to break away from our kids for a moment. Having that uninterrupted time together gave us something to look forward to. During the pandemic, the pressure of staying home with our children, managing virtual learning, and nursing our baby, left me with no energy to go to the gym. My husband remained consistent at the gym and would often go shortly after getting home from work. I became resentful and jealous of his ability to prioritize his gym time. In a way, our intimacy diminished and tension levels were high at home and I slowly felt myself losing motivation.

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Courtesy of Jasmine Raheem

After having a conversation with my husband, we began to prioritize our gym time together. We became intentional about finding a sitter for our children. This gave us the space to build our intimacy again. We would take pictures and videos of each other working out. We wouldn’t leave the gym without taking pictures together. We admired each other’s progress and complimented the changes we saw in our bodies. Home was much more peaceful and our sex drive increased. Although we still work out individually, we cherish those times when we are able to visit the gym together and when we can’t, we go on walks and do at-home exercises together. My husband is the only person I can be 100% vulnerable with. He Is aware of my insecurities and what my ultimate fitness goals are. We offer each other support and boost each other’s esteem while doing it.

Tips to help introduce intimacy building with your partner:

• Have regular conversations with your partner about their day. Ask what they really loved and what they would change. Talk about short and long term goals. This is an easy way to offer suggestions on how you can work on goals together.
• Keep thing spicy and never stop flirting with each other. Whether you and working out together or brainstorming business ideas, continue to express love with one another while doing it. This will make it fun and will make you both want to consistently do it.
• Give each other positive reinforcement. Although words of affirmation aren’t everyone’s love language, it will definitely give your partner motivation and build intimacy.